How I Started Trusting God With My Mental Health
One of my goals is to always be transparent and honest about my experiences. On this website, on my social platforms, and in life, I share my story, experiences, and how God has worked in my life to help and encourage others. I’ve talked about my experiences with anxiety and depression here and there, but I’ve never discussed how it all started for me.
Today, I’m sharing about when I first started experiencing anxiety, depression, and panic attacks. I’ll also share how I began trusting God with my mental health and how fasting and prayer gave me the breakthrough I needed and have helped me cope with it even today.
As some may know, I am a veteran who served in the Air Force for 13 years. I enjoyed the Air Force, and I gained a lot of experience from my time in service. Toward the end of my service, I received an assignment to deploy for six months. This assignment was given to me at the last minute because I was replacing someone who couldn’t go. Because of this, I didn’t have much time to prepare for it mentally, emotionally, or physically.
My family and I were stationed overseas then, and my children were very young. This made the deployment even more difficult for me. I had to travel back to the US for training before I flew back overseas to my deployment location, where I would spend more than six months. The entire thing happened so fast that it almost seems like a blur when I think about it.
After the training and deployment, I was away from my family for nearly nine months before returning to my duty location to complete my time in the Air Force. This deployment was the deciding factor in my decision to separate from the Air Force. I never wanted to be apart from my family for that long again, and I knew that it was possible if I stayed in.
The Anxiety And Depression Started
Once I returned home and started settling back into life there, I began to experience anxiety, panic attacks, and bouts of depression. One day, I had a significant panic attack in the base exchange and had to be transported to the clinic in an ambulance; it was such a scary experience. I had never experienced anything like it before my deployment, so I knew it probably had something to do with it.
I got to the point where I didn’t want to go out much or do things due to the fear of having another panic attack in public. This also caused me to be anxious all the time and depressed because I missed the way I used to be. During this time, we were also preparing for my separation, which caused added stress and fear of the unknown. My husband would be headed back to the US for a job he received, and the kids and I would follow him once my separation date came.
Deciding To Seek Professional Help
I knew that I could not live in this anxious state while it was just the kids and me, and I wanted to feel better. I began to see a behavioral therapist who diagnosed me with general anxiety disorder (GAD). He explained to me what it was and gave me some coping techniques along with a prescription for anti-anxiety medication that I could take to get filled if I needed it. I wasn’t ready to take the medication right away and wanted to learn more about anxiety and depression. I tried to get to the root of what I was experiencing since it seemed to come on suddenly after my deployment.
I read everything I could about anxiety, depression, and panic attacks and used the coping techniques I’d learned regularly. Although these things helped some, I still didn’t feel like myself. The anxiety was always like an underlying hum in my mind, and the depression was like a dark cloud over my head. I later learned from another doctor that I was experiencing PTSD from the deployment and process, which triggered anxiety, depression, and panic attacks.
Implementing Fasting And Prayer
I was spiritually in a wilderness season and felt distant from God during this time. I’ve been a Christian since childhood, and my faith in God has always been strong. But after my deployment, my faith was shaken a bit. I didn’t understand why God would allow me to endure that when I’d faithfully served Him for so long.
But even in this, I can tell you that experiencing anxiety, depression, and panic attacks were the catalysts to me trusting in God and His power more than I ever had before. It also led me to advocate for mental health and wellness by starting this blog and my podcast and volunteering in the mental health ministry at my church.
I learned about a book called Lord; I Want To Be Whole: The Power Of Prayer And Scripture In Emotional Healing. This book helped me see that God cares about my emotional and mental health, and He wanted to help me through what I was going through. This book also helped me learn how to forgive and let go of things that I couldn’t control that could’ve been contributing to my anxiety and depression.
I began to invite God into my healing journey; I prayed and sought His face more than ever. I remembered a passage in the bible, Mark 9:14-29 which helped me realize the power of fasting. I grew up fasting with my family and church, so I was familiar with the concept of fasting, but I’d never used it for a spiritual breakthrough until now.
Fasting For My Breakthrough
I decided to fast and pray for five days, from six in the morning to four in the evening. Fasting during my work day was the best option because my husband had returned to the US by this time, and I was alone with my kids. I needed to have the energy to care for them in the evenings. The first couple of days were tough. I remember going into the restroom, praying, and asking God to give me the strength to make it through the day.
By the end of the third day, something miraculous happened; while I was praying, I felt like a dark cloud was lifted by the hand of God and moved from over the top of my head. I am not exaggerating. I felt clear-headed for the first time in a long time; the anxious hum quieted, and the peace of God overtook me. I had never felt God in that way before. That day, I was reassured that God was real, and He heard my prayers and answered them.
Trusting God With My Mental Health
After that fast, I was changed. I began to believe in God in every area of my life. I trusted Him again, and my faith was restored. I’m not going to sit here and tell you that I never feel anxious or depressed; I’d be lying to you if I did. I still get nervous and depressed at times, and I even had another panic attack when I arrived back in the US. The difference now is that I turn to God every time I feel anxious or depressed, and He comforts and helps me through it.
“When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought me joy.” — Psalm 94:19
Before I end this, I want to say that this is my story and what I did. This is not a recommendation but simply an encouragement. There is nothing wrong with taking medication for anxiety and depression when it is prescribed and when you need it. If I were to the point where I needed to take medication, I would have taken it right away.
God gave chemists and doctors the wisdom to create these medications to help us when needed. There should never be an embarrassment or stigma about taking medication. Don’t ever let anyone tell you otherwise.
God is with us and cares about every area of our lives. I encourage you to bring everything to Him, no matter how big or small; he is waiting to help His children, and it delights Him to do so.
“Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” — 1 Peter 5:7
DISCLAIMER
On this website, I share my story, personal experiences, and mental health and wellness journey to help and encourage others facing the same things. However, the information and other content on my blog, website, social media pages, or any linked materials are not intended. They should not be considered or used as a substitute for medical or mental health advice, diagnosis, or treatment.
List of Mental Health Resources
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