My Experience With Anxiety
Today, I’m sharing about when I first started experiencing anxiety, depression, and panic attacks. I’ll also share how fasting and prayer gave me the breakthrough I needed and have helped me cope with it even to this day.
I’m a veteran who served in the Air Force for 13 years. I enjoyed the service and gained a lot of experience. Toward the end of my service, I received an assignment to deploy for six months.
This assignment was given to me at the last minute because I was replacing someone who was unable to go. As a result, I didn’t have much time to prepare mentally, emotionally, or physically.
My family and I were stationed overseas at the time, and my children were very young. This made the deployment even more difficult for me. I had to travel back to the US for training before I flew to my deployment location, where I would spend more than six months. The entire thing happened so fast that it almost seems like a blur when I think about it.
After the training and deployment, I was away from my family for nearly nine months before returning to my duty location to complete my time in the Air Force.
This deployment was the deciding factor in my decision to separate from the Air Force. I never wanted to be apart from my family for that long again, and I knew that was a possibility if I stayed in.
The Anxiety And Depression Started
Once I returned home and started settling back into life there, I began to experience anxiety, panic attacks, and bouts of depression. One day, I had a significant panic attack in the base exchange and had to be transported to the clinic in an ambulance; it was such a scary experience.
I had never experienced anything like it before my deployment, so I knew it probably had something to do with it.
I got to the point where I didn’t want to go out much or do things due to the fear of having another panic attack in public. This also caused me to be anxious all the time and depressed because I missed the way I used to be.
During this time, we were also preparing for my separation, which caused added stress and fear of the unknown. My husband would be heading back to the US for a job he had received, and the kids and I would follow him once my separation date arrived.
Deciding To Seek Professional Help
I knew that I could not live in this anxious state while it was just the kids and me, and I wanted to feel better. I began to see a behavioral therapist who diagnosed me with general anxiety disorder (GAD).
He explained to me what it was and gave me some coping techniques along with a prescription for anti-anxiety medication that I could get filled if I needed it.
I wasn’t ready to take the medication right away and wanted to learn more about anxiety and depression. I tried to get to the root of the anxiety, which seemed to come on suddenly after my deployment.
I read everything I could about anxiety, depression, and panic attacks and used the coping techniques I’d learned regularly. Although these things helped some, I still didn’t feel like myself.
The anxiety was always like an underlying hum in my mind, and the depression was like a dark cloud over my head. I later learned from another doctor that I was experiencing PTSD from the deployment and process, which triggered anxiety, depression, and panic attacks.
Implementing Fasting And Prayer
During this time, I was spiritually in a wilderness season. I’ve followed Christ since childhood, and my faith in God has always been strong. However, after my deployment, my faith was shaken somewhat. I didn’t understand why God would allow me to endure that when I’d faithfully served Him for so long.
Everything I learned from this experience spiritually is a story for another time. Still, I’ll say that experiencing anxiety, depression, and panic attacks was the catalyst to my trusting in God and His power more than I ever had before, and to my starting this ministry.
I learned about a book called "Lord, I Want to Be Whole: The Power of Prayer and Scripture in Emotional Healing." * This book helped me see that God cares about my emotional and mental health and wants to help me through what I am going through.
This book also helped me learn how to forgive and let go of things that I couldn’t control that could’ve been contributing to my anxiety and depression.
I began to invite God into my healing journey, praying and seeking His face more than ever. I remembered a passage in the bible, Mark 9:14-29, which helped me realize the power of fasting. I grew up fasting with my family and church, so I was familiar with the concept of fasting, but I’d never used it for a spiritual breakthrough until now.
Fasting For My Breakthrough
I decided to fast and pray for five days, from 6:00 a.m. to 4:00 p.m. Fasting during my work day was the best option because my husband had returned to the US by this time, and I was alone with my kids.
I needed to have the energy to care for them in the evenings. The first couple of days were tough. I remember going into the restroom, praying, and asking God to give me the strength to make it through the day.
By the end of the third day, something miraculous happened: while I was praying, I felt as though a dark cloud was lifted by the hand of God and moved away from over my head. I am not exaggerating.
I felt clear-headed for the first time in a long time; the anxious hum quieted, and the peace of God overtook me. I had never felt God in that way before. That day, I was reassured that God was real, and He heard my prayers and answered them.
Trusting God With My Mental Health
After that fast, I was changed. I began to believe in God in every area of my life. I trusted Him again, and my faith was restored. I’m not going to sit here and tell you that I never feel anxious or depressed; I’d be lying to you if I did.
I still get anxious and depressed at times, and I even had another panic attack when I arrived back in the US. The difference now is that I turn to God every time I feel anxious or depressed, and He comforts and helps me through it.
“When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought me joy.” - Psalm 94:19
Before I conclude, I want to emphasize that this is my story and my actions. This is not a recommendation but simply an encouragement. There is nothing wrong with taking medication for anxiety and depression when it is prescribed and when you need it.
If I were to the point where I needed to take medication, I would have taken it right away.
God gave chemists and doctors the wisdom to create these medications to help us when needed. There should never be an embarrassment or stigma about taking medication. Don’t ever let anyone tell you otherwise.
God is with us and cares about every area of our lives. I encourage you to bring everything to Him, no matter how big or small; he is waiting to help His children, and it delights Him to do so.
“Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” - 1 Peter 5:7
Disclaimer:
On this website, I share my story, personal experiences, and mental health and wellness journey to help and encourage others who face similar challenges. However, the information and other content on my blog, website, social media pages, or any linked materials are not intended to be. They should not be considered or used as a substitute for medical or mental health advice, diagnosis, or treatment.
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